[HIT]
What is love?
[KISS]
To simply say I love you has several potential problems. If I am speaking about me, then it may be manipulation.
If I tell you there’s nothing at all wrong with you, I push you off the path.
If I tell you that you need work, I bury you in manure.
Perhaps I am trying to give you a feeling. Is that my job?
Perhaps it’s the wrong approach, but the question is still valid. How can you feel loved? How can you feel valued?
In Buddhism, we sometimes talk about giving the gift of fearlessness.
We do this by working with our own habits. We do this through the taking of precepts.
Being true to our precepts gives the people we are near safety. They learn that they have nothing to fear from us. We do this by refraining from causing harm, not taking what isn’t given, maintaining sexual respect and agency, speaking the truth, and maintaining the mind. This is a gift we give to those around us and also to ourselves.
But is this love?
Zen Master Seung Sahn asked us to keep a question in our minds prior to acting – is it for my benefit, or for the benefit of the other person/all beings? How can we tell?
Eshun (義順, 1362-ca. 1430) was a nun and the younger sister of Ryoan Emyo Zenji– the founder of the Saijoji temple. Despite being beautiful, she never married and was resolute in her pursuit of living a pure life.
Soon after the inception of Saijoji temple in 1394, Eshun asked her brother to ordain her. He declined the request on the basis that her presence would corrupt the monks of the temple. Determined to convince him, she shaved her head. She even burned her face with a hot poker so as to diminish her beauty. As a result, Ryoan gave in and ordained Eshun.
Even with her scar, she was very pretty. Several monks of the temple were attracted to her. One of them secretly wrote her a love letter, insisting on a private meeting with her. She did not reply.
After the conclusion of the master’s lecture the following day, Eshun arose. Addressing the one who had written her the secret letter, she said: ‘If you really love me so much, come and embrace me now.’*
As Eshun made clear with her statement, the love letter was simply the Zen center version of catcalling or drunk texting.
Dangerous aspects are sometimes called love – it can be possessive. When combined with secrecy, it can become toxic. It can feel uncontrollable, confusing, and like it sweeps us away in a manner that makes us believe we aren’t responsible for our own thoughts, feelings, and actions. Is this love?
Love is not a thing. Love is ethics. Love is how ultimate truth becomes embodied.
So, what is love?
[HIT]
How may I help you?
*https://itstheliar.wordpress.com/2020/09/17/love-openly/